A Recipe for Disaster

Today's post is not about food, but it is. Today will go down in one of pivotal life changing moments. I have been through too many in my short life. Today I had to deliver the news that my husband's mother has Alzheimer's and has severe heart disease. We have weathered of plenty of storms in the course of our marriage, we survive this one as well. Nonetheless, my heart bleeds for him. He has had navigate this world with no father, now the only parent he has ever had will die a slow indignant death not suited for any decent human being.

What does this have to do with food? Everything and nothing at all.  Medical science is not yet equipped to tell us what percentage of our health issues are genetic, environmental or lifestyle related. With the absence of that information, the only thing that we can control is us. A part of me is sad, another is angry, another part is bewildered that food is a culprit making me a caregiver at the age of 35. No one knows where the changes in the brain came from, or when the damage to the heart occurred, but I can tell you being fat, black and stressed out did not help. I carefully entitled this post recipe for disaster because it is the combination, not just one layer that has my husband facing being a orphan.

I do not believe "soul food" kills people. His grandmother is over eighty and she is fine. My grandmother lived to over 90, and the list goes on and on. So what is the difference between one generation to the next? Well, one main difference is the Big n Tasty with cheese. I wholeheartedly believe there is a significant difference when you eat something like a burger and fries at at home than when you eat a McFaux sandwich. The pork that was used to season that food, is in stark contrast to us throwing back a large order of tips and washing it down with a 2 liter of bubbly brew. The true essence of "soul food" that I am trying to give you in my lessons is about learning to make due when resources are scarce. Soul food is about taking the time to enrich your food with flavor and love. There is no love in what I call terrorist chicken, which our patient in question has eaten many a tray of wings from.

Another key ingredient in this disastrous recipe is laziness. Years of being encouraging her to go for a walk just to enjoy nature and tranquility were met with cries of boring and I don't want to. Now said patient can not barely walk and has the cardiovascular health of a fatten duck ready for the slaughter. I recall all the years of fighting you to go outside even when you did not have someone to play with. I wanted you to learn how to be content alone and learn how to get your body moving whether you had a friend in the world or not. I might have fallen short on that goal but I did try. You still have good years ahead of you to make some good habits. Do not lay around waiting for life to excite you, get up and do not let life pass you by because it will, quicker than you think.

The last diabolical addition to this stew is isolation. To coin the cliche' that no man is an island, is so true. I have been humble by this experience in so many ways. It is easy to feel invincible when you are young and healthy, but the time comes when we all need someone to care and be on our side. I talk alot about burning bridges. Yes, you should be careful of what bridges you burn, but some of them do need to be destroyed. I can think of a certain bridge I wished you would have torched a LONG time ago, but oh well. In addition to paying attention to the bridges you burn, you also need to build new bridges in your life. Find new positive connections, meet new people, find new ways to serve your fellow man. I am a private, secluded person, but I am not isolated. I know how to reach out to other when I need it. You never want to find yourself painted into a creepy lonely corner.

To wrap this up, I am upset that decisions not to lose weight and eat right then is punishing my husband now. The worse thing you can do as a parent is make your kids suffer for your bad decisions. I am glad to do God' service in this world, and I will do what He ask of me in this situation, but this should not be, and it is just sad, just really sad.